I am cut

The blade calls out - beckoning me to come - I know it is wrong yet the desire is strong - have I no will - have I no strength - what does a blade do to help - it gives voice to the pain and the hurt - it speaks out for the unsaid words and for the unfelt emotions - not everyone can hear it calling out - but those that hear cannot pull away - it seems so insignificant to others yet it is life to those who answer its cry - nothing washes away the pain - the cut releases the inner screaming - the screaming that no one wants to hear - the scream will not go away - the blade and the scream seem to co-exist - hard to imagine life any other way - the blade kills inside - yet no life without the cut
The bloods comes out and warms the skin - the sensation of relief sweeps over the body - freedom is gained as the wall of pain is broken down - what can possibly be freeing about blood pouring out of a wound? - yet we receive freedom when Christ bled for us - His blood has set us free and we are seen whole through the blood of the lamb - God loves me despite my scars - He loves me because of my scars - what kind of love is this that loves through the blood - that loves through the pain - it is intimate and intense - indescribable and life to those who receive it - help me to receive it God - help me to let you love me with all your heart - may my cup overflow with undying love for you.