Finding Love in all the Wrong Places

Finding love in all the wrong places - that's what it feels like - yet I am single with no prospect in the near future. My heart breaks at the thought of another Valentine's Day coming with no one to share it with. I will be on a road trip with my mom, but will still be alone. I don't want to mope around but I feel so empty inside. I plead with God that I don't want to feel this way - that I just want Him. It is like Paul said - do what I don't want to do and what I want to do, I don't.
I'm starting a new chapter within my life as part of leadership within my church - 1st meeting tonight. Much more will be expected of me - yet I'm not sure if I have anything to give. How can I give to my church if I feel so stifled and bound?
Song of Solomon says not to awaken love before it is ready - so what do you do when you are not ready when love is awaken within you. Where do you focus your energy towards? I've tried focusing the energy and emotions towards God but it just doesn't seem to help any. They still seem to overwhelm me and drown me. Can you drown within your emotions? I don't know how else to describe it but that I am drowning and I can't seem to breathe or rest within the bosom of Jesus. We are encouraged to rest within the arms of Christ but what do you do when you can't see Christ. Or maybe the question should be how do you rest in Jesus? The problem is that there is no magic answer or magic formula that will work. Everyone has to discover how on their own. But how do you know you are doing it right? I wish I had the faith to step out of the boat and to walk on water - but I'm scared that no one will catch me if I do falter and lose my focus. That just makes me wonder if I have any faith at all then - maybe that is why I can't find love - true love - fulfilling love - agape